Life seems like a loosing battle

Usually I don't rant but today I just have a lot to get off my chest. I'm half way in tears right now. I hate money. I really is the root of all evil. I guess you learn to hate it even more when you don't have it. Right now I am out of work and the only income I have coming in is from my Etsy shop until I find a new day job. My boyfriend is working on and off as his industry is very slow right now. Currently I am responsible for bringing in at least 70% of the income of the household, so money is extremely tight. I felt bad because we spent $20 to go see Avatar this week. It sucks when $20 is a huge expense! Bills are piling up and I'm just barely paying my rent. On top of that I have 3 orders sitting in my Etsy account currently that people never paid for. My phone is about to be shut off on Friday. On top of everything I need a breast reduction. I lost my health insurance when I lost my job. While pregnant with my son last year I went up 4 cup sizes and 5 since having him. I'm currently a 38N (38jj UK). It hurts to walk or stand for long periods of time. Even hunching over my work desk to make my figurines is killing me. I have cuts in my shoulders from my bra straps and my clothes don't fit. Large bras are expensive. I can't afford a new one currently, so I have to wear two of my old ones at the same time. I've looked into getting rated so I can get the procedure done, but even with that I can't afford the monthly payments. I just feel like I'm loosing my mind right now. I have no clue what to do. I'm not even really sure why I wrote this. I guess I just needed to get it out of my head.